Tapping Into You
Who are you?
Abuse rocks your existence. It seeps in and takes over. I couldn’t remember who I was, by the time I’d gotten out. I’d been a young, dare I say sheltered, 19 year old when I met my ex and entered the dark ages. I was 35 when I escaped.
As I entered the new and exciting era of being on my own, I had a hard time deviating from what I’d done for the past 17 years. Habits are habits, and all that, but… I was looking to change my life. I didn’t want to keep my ex in my head by doing things his way.
In order to grow and heal, I had to remember who I was. I wasn’t the girl who was always cowering in the corner, trying to cut the onions right, and making sure the house was spic and span. I was wild and free and ever evolving. Growing up, you’d find me swimming in the river or running through the field behind our neighborhood. I was always playing some sort of sport or instrument. I was happy, not afraid to make mistakes, and always up for an adventure.
I’d lost touch with the primal energy of my past. I’d forgotten the warrior that I was. It was time to get her back.
Once I started living authentically, my happiness and passion for life soared. I started exploring the area I was living in, trying new restaurants whenever I could, going to new hiking trails, began practicing Muay Thai, and became a beekeeper. I even left a long career in the spa industry to be a brewer. If I’m interested in something, I’ll give it a go. I’ve never been happier! I’m always meeting new, interesting people, and the memories I’m making are spectacular. I’m grateful to, once again, be in touch with the woman that I truly am.
If you’re feeling stuck and are unsure where to start. Look within. Invoke the child you once were. What did you like? How did you spend your lazy summer afternoons? What activities did you do, that you could happily do all day long? (Your first experiences of the flow state!) Once you start to remember, write it all down and re-experience some, or all, of those activities. Spend a day with your inner child. I know it sounds silly, but seriously, try to envision that you’re spending the day with them. Laughing, running around, and living in the moment. Your adult self will be grateful.
