Coping with Anxiety
How do you deal with anxiety?
Everyone experiences it. Anxiety can be good, when it’s leading up to something positive. Like, asking for a well deserved raise, going out on a first date, or starting a new job. That type of anxiety keeps us evolving and makes us stronger. The other kind of anxiety though- well, that’s a hard one to wrap your head around.
I have a hard time with anxiety. It’s plagued me for a long time. I’m a naturally sanguine person, but my nerves can be crippling. It’s hard to socialize, I can have trouble making it into work, and don’t even get me started on phone calls. Then there’s that anticipatory anxiety, where I’m ruminating on the busy day I have coming up. I can get so caught up in worrying about the upcoming week and how much work I have, that I dampen my weekend. I’m flooding my body with stress hormones, because I can’t seem to give myself a day off from worrying. Well, that’s not ok.
I think a lot of us do this and it’s probably a hallmark of our busy, work comes first, society. It’s important that we change this behavior. We work hard! A lot of us spend more hours working than we do sleeping. Not only do we have work stress, but we also have the rest of life! Kids, school, elderly parents, animals, spouses, and we need to have time to tend to and take care of ourselves. No wonder we’re all feeling so damn anxious.
It’s a hard thing to deal with, but don’t forget that anxiety itself, is a helpful tool. It’s popping up because it’s trying to tell you something. It’s a messenger. Perhaps there’s something going on in your life that you’re no longer aligned with. I’ve had jobs that triggered anxiety and once I left, I felt perfectly fine again. In those cases, my anxiety was telling me that I was working in the wrong environment. It’s important to find the root cause of your angst.
In the quest to heal my anxiety, I’ve found a few things that help. Not only do they help me, but they help other people as well. Please give them a shot! No one thing will banish anxiety, but having different tools at your disposal can be helpful.
Breathe. We’ve all heard it, but breathing really is important when it comes to dealing with anxiety. Deep, abdominal breathing stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. That’s the rest and digest thing you’ve probably heard about. Once you tickle that system, your body starts to calm down. It’s a nice little hack for when you’re freaking the fuck out. A technique my therapist taught me, that I use often, is the 4-7-8 breath. Take a nice, deep inhale for a count of 4, hold it and count to 7, and then release it for a count of 8. I like to do a slightly forceful exhale. Then you do the whole cycle again. Doing the cycle four times is a great way to start coming back down, so it’s easier to deal with the anxiety at hand.
Identify what you’re feeling. As we start to panic, we tend to be overwhelmed with intense feelings. I’ve found it helpful to identify how I’m feeling. This brings me back into my body and reinstates some power. As I’m panicking I can start to pay attention. My heart is racing, my legs and arms are tingling, it’s hard to breathe, I feel faint, I have a lump in my throat, my vision is distorted, and I’m sweating through my clothes. Just vocalizing these things can help bring you back down. Now, figure out what emotions are coming up. I’m scared, overwhelmed, desperate, and angry. When you have a better idea of how you’re feeling, you can start to figure out why you’re feeling that way. Why am I afraid? Why am I angry? Before you know it, you’re no longer panicking, you’re just exploring yourself and figuring out what actually caused the anxiety.
An example of mine is when I know I have a busy week ahead of me, at work. I’ll begin to catastrophize, my heart will race, and I’ll be sweating everywhere. I can’t believe I have so much to do, I don’t have enough time. No one should be working 40 hours a week. I don’t know why America still uses that working model. I’ll have no time for my self care, my dogs are going to be lonely... I’ll just keeping going. Before I know it, I’ve been an anxious wreck for half my weekend, about things that aren’t even happening. If I take the time to look at my anxiety, be with it and explore it, I can see its message. My body is shaking, my heart is racing, I have a lump in my throat, and I can’t stop sweating . Ok, how else am I feeling? Overwhelmed, I love my job, but need more help at work. Scared, because I’m afraid I won’t have time to take care of myself, and then my mental state will start to crumble. Frustrated, that 40 hour workweeks are still a thing, despite how unhealthy they are. By now, I’m no longer panicking. I’m just exploring why I feel that way. It’ s empowering to understand why you feel a certain way. Once you know, you can work towards changing it! I learned that my own time is valuable to me and I need to honor that. I don’t like things invading my personal time and am frustrated that I’m feeling overworked. Luckily, I have a wonderful work environment, and my boss is getting me the help I needed. Anxiety still creeps in though! Since I now know this, I can start making some changes. That’s part of what I’m doing here! I realize I have trouble working on someone else’s schedule, so I’m working on my own business. That way, I won’t have to work, full time for someone else, forever. Don’t be afraid of anxiety! It’s a useful tool that will help you create the life of your dreams!
Exercise. When was the last time you broke a sweat? Research has shown that exercise is more effective than anxiety and depression medication.* Not only is if effective, but it’s free and accessible! The only side effects are more confidence, a healthy body and mind, and a svelte figure. Consistent exercise is the key to feeling good. You don’t need to be a CrossFit god or a pro athlete. Just moving your body mindfully will be a tremendous help. Maybe go for a walk on your lunch break, or before/after work. You could give cycling or mountain biking a whirl. A bunch of folks love yoga, which is also helpful for anxiety. It matches movement with deep breathing, how lovely. My three favorite activities are hiking, muay thai, and functional strength training. Hiking gets me moving outside, where the trees, sun, and fresh air can work their magic. Muay Thai is challenging and social. I have trouble hanging out with friends, so this is a fun and healthy way for me to socialize. Functional strength training is good for your body and brain, especially as we age. I’ve found it’s also helpful in the moment of anxiety. A few reps with my heavier kettle bells seems to push the anxiety right out of me. My theory is that it wears out my body so much, that it can’t be anxious anymore. I feel like anxiety has an energy to it, and if I can get rid of that energy- it goes away. It’s my emergency “valium”. I don’t take medication anymore, so I rely on these techniques, heavily. Trust me, exercise is a game changer. I know it can be hard to make time for and maintain. My advice there is to find something you enjoy. You don’t have to go to a gym, just find an activity you like! Something that makes your soul sing. If you’re having trouble thinking of things to try, think about what you enjoyed as a kid! I want to start an adult field hockey team with my co-workers. It’ll be fun and will give us all amazing mental and health benefits!
Nutrition. We’ve all heard, “You are what you eat”, but did you know that you literally are? The cells that make up your body are made from the food we eat and what we drink. Everything we put in our bodies has an effect on us. Blueberries are wicked good for mental health and skin health. Protien helps make up our immune system. Chicken soup really is good when you’re sick! Caffeine has some great brain and heart benefits, but it comes with risks. It can make you anxious, jittery, and upset your stomach. (Pro tip: if you accidentally drink too much coffee and are feeling weird, try using L-theanine! It’s an amino acid that will counteract the negative effects of caffiene. It also helps relax you.) Caffiene also stays in your system for up to six hours. Since it hangs around for so long, it can be hard to pinpoint as an anxiety trigger. Now that you know, be mindful of your caffeine consumption! Definitely stick to coffee and tea. Energy drinks and those highly sugared coffee beverages have a whole slew of other anxiety causing ingredients in them. A lot of food dyes, sugars, and preservatives are known to cause anxiety and other mental health issues. So, try to be as natural as possible! Your body and mind will thank you!
Meditation. I believe, this last technique is the most important one. How do you feel about meditation? Most people I know say, '“Oh, I know I should meditate, but I just can’t”. I get it. It’s not easy! Cultivating a meditation practice takes, well- practice! It’s the most simple concept, but it’s not easy. Sit or lay quietly, breathe, and clear your mind. This is challenging! The mind starts taking over, pretty quickly. A thought about work pops in your head, you remember the old lettuce in the back of the fridge, a random memory from elementary school shows up. Each time you get frustrated and eventually open your eyes, to do something else. I’ve been there! What I can say, is that it gets easier and eventually you’ll be able to drop into a meditative state quickly. I find that wearing out my body first, makes it about 90% easier to slip into that state. My body is tired, so my mind is calm. That’s why yogis do yoga. They’re preparing the body for meditation. I’ll exercise a bit or stretch, drink some water, and then get settled down. Sometimes I wear shooting range ear protection, to block the noise around me. I call them my meditation muffs. Visualization can be helpful in getting started. I’ll visualize my chakras opening. Or see roots coming from the bottom of my body, shooting into the ground and anchoring me, while a beam of light travels up my spine and soars through the top of my head, into the universe. After I’ve relaxed with visualization, I’ll just breathe and see what I can see, behind my closed eyelids. If visualization isn’t your thing, try using the 4-7-8 breath. That’s a helpful tool to get you in that zen zone.
If thoughts pop up, just let them pass. Don’t get upset that they're there. Your mind will never be a pure, clean, blank slate. Thoughts and memories will always pop up. It takes practice to notice them, stay detached from them, and let them pass. You’ll get the hang of it! You can also have an intention for the meditation. Perhaps, “Help me figure _____ out”, or “Show me how to heal”. Whatever you intend will probably come back to you in a random thought that clarifies things or helps give you an idea of what to do.
Meditation is a powerful tool. It busts anxiety, depression, helps people heal physically and emotionally, it helps you sleep, and just gives you a much more positive outlook on life. Please give it a try! Meditate for 10 minutes a day, for a few weeks, and see how you’re feeling. Once you get the hang of it, I know you’ll start seeing the benefits and you’ll start adding more time to your meditation sessions!
Anxiety sucks, but there are ways to cope and keep it at bay. Try adding any, or all, of these techniques to your self care routine, and see how you feel! Remember that anxiety is trying to tell us something. So, don’t be afraid of it. Take a breath, think about what you’re feeling, move your body, eat right, and get some zen time. I swear, you’ll start seeing a difference in how you feel.
