How Brewing Beer Saved Me
In 2020 my abusive ex boyfriend tried to kill me and I later lost my career in the spa industry.
Like many people, COVID was a rough time. For about a year after I left the spa life I bounced around jobs while learning how to manage PTSD symptoms and triggers, and look for a new career. I’d had an office job, walked dogs, and finally started working at the MMA gym I went to. Nothing was quite right and my anxiety was spiraling out of control. Financially, emotionally, and relationship wise, my life was crumbling. Add to that the severe PTSD I was experiencing along with the shame and guilt from having so much trouble working- I was slowly hitting rock bottom.
One day while mindlessly scrolling Instagram I saw a friend had posted about a new brewery in town. I love craft beer and enjoyed going to breweries. The atmosphere is always fun and I can usually bring my dog. I decided to check it out.
The brewery was set on 32 acres of gently rolling hills full of wildflowers. The production side was a revamped barn and the taproom was a gorgeous wood, glass, and metal structure. It looked like heaven. My new husband and I walked into the glass walled taproom and were greeted by a team of smiling and down to earth people who truly made us feel welcome. I ordered a flight and we sat down on a big couch.
I fell in love with that place! The setting was beautiful and comfortable, and the beer was impeccable. Once we got home I looked to see if they were hiring. I’d be happy to serve beer there. The staff were genuinely friendly and the beer was perfect. It’d be a fun way to make money and maybe it’d be the type of work I could manage. I went to their website and clicked on the jobs button. Heck yes, they’re hiring! I was ready to apply to the taproom when I saw they also had an assistant brewer position open. No way…
As a teenager, my parents brought us to Ireland where we took a tour of the Guiness brewery. During the tour I saw an old picture of some guys raking grain out of a steaming mash tun. It struck something deep within. I wondered if I was one of those dudes in a past life. From that day on I wanted to brew beer. Life had other plans for me so I never got the opportunity, but here I was almost 20 years later, looking at an assistant brewer position.
Not only was the position open but they weren’t requiring any experience. They’d train the right person. So, I applied. A week later they called me in to interview, and to my surprise they hired me! This was the most ecstatic I’d been in years. I just landed my dream job! I bought some heavy jeans, steel toed boots, and went to work at a brewery.
The head brewer took me under his wing and was one of the best teachers I’ve ever had. Not only did he teach me everything about brewing, cellaring, and packaging, but he made sure I understood the science behind it all. We made some incredible beer together. He was always supporting my education and took time to bring me to craft beer events and introduce me to people in the industry. I’m grateful for the support and encouragement he gave me. Not only was I doing something very cool, working with amazing people, and was part of the warmest industry I’ve ever been involved in- I also realized I was never anxious at work.
In the brewery there were no triggers. I wasn’t having trouble working at all. This was a surprising change from previous jobs where I was constantly trying to mange my nerves. Brewing is hard work! Like, serious manual labor. And I loved it. Lifting 50 pound bags of malt, moving kegs and pallets, working with heavy hoses, and restocking the cooler and grain room was wearing out my body in a way that made it easy to sleep at night without the nightmares and midnight panic attacks I’d been getting accustomed to. Brewing takes hold of all your senses. The physical activity matched with the smells of malt, hops, and wort. The sound of a bubbling blow off bucket during fermentation. The sight and taste of a perfectly crafted beer. Everything was keeping my body and mind occupied. I was busy, I was moving, I was interested, and I was passionate about becoming the best brewer I could be. The people I worked with and met in the industry are some of the warmest and most supportive people in my life. I soon realized this was the only thing I wanted to do.
Brewing beer saved me. Not only did it give me work that I could do, but it gave me space where I could heal from my past traumas. It was safe, interesting, fun, and I felt a lot of pride in what we were creating. It helped me gain some confidence back. I finally felt like I was giving back to the community, I was financially fit again, and I was truly in love with the craft beer industry and the people who are a part of it.
Breweries aren’t just a place to drink. They’re watering holes for the community. People of all backgrounds go there to socialize with each other, families come to relax, dogs are everywhere so we all get an extra boost of oxytocin just by being around them, and everyone there is supporting a local business while enjoying something crafted with passion and love. I’m grateful to be a brewer and am serious when I say, brewing beer saved me.
Cheers to all the brewers and craft beer lovers! I’m honored and happy to be part of your tribe!
